Why Don’t We Hear Anyone Telling Black Men to “Stay For The Kids”?
I always see Black women being told to “stay for the kids” but I don’t hear anyone telling Black men don’t cheat, don’t abuse, don’t do drugs for the kids.
Why is that?
Before you raise your hand to beat on that woman, think about the kids.
Before you go sticking your penis in another woman’s vagina and humiliating YOUR family, think about the kids.
Before you go trying drugs, think about the kids.
Before you go taking money from your household to give your side chick, think about the kids.
Before you take money to support your drug habit, think about the kids.
Before you leave your woman financially struggling, think about the kids.
Allow me to share a few replies to my question above.
“Because no one should have to be told these things if they are parents and/or a spouse”.
This response completely dismisses the issues at hand in the Black Community. Of course, it came from a Black Man. But let's roll with it. If this is the case and nobody should have to be told this, then nobody should be telling, forcing, or shaming women to stay AFTER a man has put her in a position to have to make a decision to leave. If Black people would take a moment to listen to Black women to understand, they will hear the legit reasons why Black women leave.
Sistas, if you’re willing to stick around and risk catching HIV from your lying cheating man, please raise your hand.
Yet, women are being told to stay AFTER he has humiliated her, disrespected her, put her physical health at risk, weakened her mental stability, money comes up missing, and bills aren’t getting paid. Let’s not act like people don’t need to be told their household comes first, as parents and spouses, nor should we try to minimize the seriousness of this real issue that leads to the breakdown or demise of Black families. This has become a lifestyle of a culture that’s been handed down from generation to generation and has a 100% track record of failure, yet, the majority still continues to uphold these “values” and beliefs.
I know a married man who cheats on his wife, has kids outside of his marriage, creates single mother homes for Black children, but told another Black man to leave his wife because, during THEIR separation where they both were acting separated, she is the one in the wrong? Like, these are the dudes that men are taking advice from out here? We’re doomed!
“Because men don’t air their dirty laundry to women. It’s said. But it is said amongst men”
They don’t have to “air their dirty laundry to women”, even though many do. Anybody with one eye and deaf in both ears can see the trail of broken homes, the rate at which Black women are killed by Black men, the history of abuse, fatherless children, and the rest of the lopsided nonsense that Black people give Black men a pass for.
These dudes gossip like schoolgirls during recess so to think they don’t air their dirty laundry? That’s delusional. Just speak for yourself and simply say YOU don’t air your dirty laundry to women. Men as a whole, air their dirty laundry every time he sets out to try to publicly humiliate a woman he had sex with or a woman who didn’t give him any play. Every time he gets caught cheating and it goes public and he has to give a public apology, he’s airing out his dirty laundry through his actions.
“Because men don’t normally seek advice in public forums…But trust me, we’re telling them”
Now wait one damn minute, what do you mean men don’t normally seek advice in public forums? Of course, this came from another Black man. It’s crazy how Black men blind themselves from the bullshit that other Black men do, then have the audacity to come to my topics and lie with a straight face. Contrary to the fantasy land of lies, men indeed seek advice all up and down my timelines on multiple social media platforms, every single day, for various reasons. From polygamy to a woman’s butt size, to cars, clothes, who they should have sex with, whether or not they shout hit a woman, what kind of woman they should marry, and relationships. When are we going to start being honest around here? If you are a man who doesn't do that then just speak for yourself and just say that then. Because the peaceful minority trying to mansplain how poorly Black women are treated by Black men through Black culture, only makes them look like enablers.
Not only do Black men ask for advice in public forums, but they are always giving Black women unsolicited PUBLIC advice on everything from relationships, to our hair, what kind of clothes we should wear, how much we should weigh, how we should raise our kids, what song lyrics we should be singing, how much pain and suffering we should endure, and so much more.
We can use this most recent scandal with Derrick Jaxn as an example of just how reactive and dysfunctional Black people live. EVERYONE has gone public to voice their opinion about the aftermath but I have yet to see one Black man actually share any advice about how he should have kept his penis in his pants, and stayed in the house, for his kids. I see not one Black man speak to why he would put his kids and his wife through this and the damage it will and has caused.
Instead, Black men have gone PUBLIC to voice how they understand why Jaxn cheated or to state, that’s what she gets, to call Mrs. Jaxn stupid, or to say it’s her fault…..but men are here telling me, “we do tell them, in private”.
These menfolk prove my point every single time. Why say one thing in public and claim y’all say something different in private, where nobody can hear you? Yet, publicly telling men to leave their wives, neglect their kids, and cheat on their women? Black culture is weird AF! What’s the big secret? These cats have no issues giving public advice to women, which we don’t even ask for, but want to give men advice in private, that many men need to hear? Black men need to get out of their colonized minds and do things out in the open like other tribes do where they go before their entire village and get permission from the elders before they make a decision that can ruin their family and generations to come.
Why whisper “stay for the kids” then get on public forums and laugh about the damage a Black man does to his Black children? That’s pretty bassackwards.
Then the world wants to act like they don’t have a clue as to why fewer babies are being born, more women are opting out of getting married, more women are saying NO to the bare minimum, and why more women are choosing to just stay single and save herself from an early grave.
Again I ask, why do we HEAR y’all telling women to stay for the kids and we never HEAR y’all telling men to stay for the kids?